mis⋅un⋅der⋅stood-
improperly understood or misinterpreted
unappreciated
So you were able to read my previous citations to get a slight glance into who I am. How would I describe myself and how i feel others would describe me are on two vastly opposite plains. I see myself as being socially awkward 70% of the time very shy only in crowds though. I hate walking into a room and having all eyes on me, except when I am prepared for it. I see myself as a self medicator. I will rairly share my problems with anyone I hardly ever ask help for anything. If i cant do something depending on what it is it will get done but only to the best of my abilities when I could have easily asked for help. Why is this? I could use my usual excuse
Its just how I was raised But as I grow older I am starting to see the effects of not adapting to changes as swiftly as I should of during my childhood and younger adolescence. I am studying Mass Communication.
After reading my earlier paragraph you may ask youself how is it that you are in Mass Communication but stated that you are unsociable and uncomfortable in crowds? Its something I ask myself alot actually. My personality has a few sides is what i have come to conclude. Generally I crack jokes all the time having a good time nice to eerybody i meet and so forth which is why i "know" a lot of people. But my other side which i feel is my true side I just like being with a few people who really know me and a beautifil girl and just hanging out and having a good time. Then it came to my attention that few people really know me.
People only know what you let them know and I dont let people know that much, or really even anything. A lot of the people that I meet or "know" i know a far bit about them because I am naturally a caring person so they entrust me and let me in on their lives but I dont reciprocate. I guess its really not that bad because genuinly you dont want too many people knowing your inner life because that can be dangerous but at times I feel lost in the world as if I am just floating through going day by day with no real purpose. Luckily for me something always comes up to keep me going.
When I was younger it was basketball I dreamed of being in the NBA as any boy did. But i took it very serious I had African Parents and I myself born and slightly raised in Africa aswell who constantly pressured me to succeed in life through education but it always seemed that I was never good enough, when my older brother and younger sister were. I guess this is where my want to be alone and have my own space stemed from becuse if I was alone there was noone else that could be better than me or smarter than me. But as I was saying I took to basketball for my whole child hood it was all I did. during Highschool started to get recognition around the GTA winning awards here and there & then finally won the MVP for my highschool. This was what i had basically waited my whole childhood for. Finally i was the best at something that i set out to be the best at and no one could really bring me down. Yes some could still say i got lucky blah blah but at the end of the day they had to give respect where respect was due. The athletic banquet that year i remember it like it was yesturday.
I had the best season of organized basketball of my life that year everywhere i had fallen short in the years before I had perfected I led my team in mostly everything but I was still very unsure I would win. When they said my name and I did it was a feeling that is undescribable lol even though its just a highschool MVP not the Nobel Piece Prize to me it was that big because it was a lifes hard work finally being respected. But after I won that I was just on a party and celebration spree all off season and into the summer and then the next year went into senior ball and my head just wasnt into it. I have a thing where i want something real bad and I'll do anything to get it but when i do thats it i got it I dont care, and i think thats what happened with basketball so i quit.
After quiting i was lost again the senior coach basically hated me and to this day hasnt said a word to me since.
Then i moved to ottawa met some new people and clothing took up my spare time and the idea for my own line came to play. I was always business minded growing up my friend Justin and I would literally do anything we could for money.
Thankfully we never got in any trouble but it was definatly an interesting childhood. But yea so now I'm onto clothing BADHABITS Clothing if you didnt already know. & just as I did basketball I started from the bottom and I look at it as i did basketball. and anytime when I am in doubt i remember the times during my rise in basketball when i was in doubt and I thought I wasnt good enough. The beginning is always the hardest and not everyone will understand or appretiate at first. So I'm basically putting my whole life into this, BadHabits is basically my life at this point. school is alright I'd rather not be in it as a means of supportign myself I like the casual learning but the fact that I need to do good to get a job scares me at times because i feel im not good enough. So basically BH is the only chance I have at being a success in life is how I look at it, the same way I thought basketball was. Hopefully it will end up the same way will me on top but hey,
It Could End Today, It Could End Tomorrow
BadHabits,NoRegrets.
until next time
C.Bosompra